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August 10 2017

@ everyone who's ever hurt me:


shut up ugly

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how do i tell my psychiatrist this is the only thing that will ever make me laugh anymore

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When your girlfriend pissed you off cause she was hungry & you’ve fed her now you’re mad and she’s just fine.

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I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.

He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.

I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.

He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.

His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.

He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.

He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.

The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.

To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.

1. Get consent.
2. Give warning.
3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots
4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force)
5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe.
6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.

All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.

Too important not to reblog


I am so sorry for what you experienced @ifitpleasuresme. Thank you for sharing this wake-up call.

Signal boost. If you go charging into a scene thinking you can act like they act in those gonzo BDSM porn loops, you’re a fool. Always keep the Safe in Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If you are not absolutely sure of what you’re doing in a scene, don’t fucking do it.

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shoutout to the genuinely nice girls who tell u ur hair looks good or ask where u got ur jeans from or gently let u know if u have lipstick on ur teeth…..u make the world a better place 

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I was in the middle of being kinda upset but this made me laugh really hard

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August 09 2017

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did anyone else know you could go into settings and invert the colors on your switch? because what the fuck

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Squid sisters for you!!

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finally someone concerned with the real issues

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the biggest mood

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A jojo AND overwatch reference? In MY splatoon???

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thanks Carolyn

team ketchup during the first splatfest


So I guess strengths in numbers doesn’t mean much when your only fighting fellow teammates. :\

after playing splatfest for like 8 or so hours, I only ever fought the opposite team like 5 times.

say what you want to about salty ketchupers, but somethin screwy happened behind the match making seen during this splatfest. It seemed I was always teaming up with and facing high level players when it was ketchup vs ketchup, yet they were mysteriously replaced with lower level players when I finally got to face mayo.

Look, I know the system isn’t perfect. and I experienced the same problem in the first splatoon when one team was widely more popular than the other.

Thing is Splatfest just isn’t fun when you can’t contribute to your teams success in any way shape or form, or do the thing splatfest was even made for!

But hey, its whatever. I got my king sized super sea snails. and hey, maybe next splatfest will be a little more balanced… hopefully.

except for the last one, team Marina is gonna dominate.

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she made it

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